Roosh V Bang


CREAMY DELICIOUSNESS

I know exactly where you are wasting a good chunk of your money. Lunch. Going out to eat for lunch costs at least $6, but is probably more like $7-10 if you don’t eat Subway and Burger King every day. Using my tuna system, you can save almost $100 a month if you pack your lunch four times a week.

What you need:
2 boxes of Creamy Broccoli Tuna Helper ™: $1.58 each at Target. (Tuna helper FAQ)
2 cans of tuna: $0.60 each. Get the store brand for extra savings.
2 cups of milk: $1
6 tablespoons of margarine: $0.25
A microwave at work: free

Since one box of helper is good for two lunches, the above list produces four lunches at a grant total cost of $5.61. That is $1.40 a lunch!! You can’t beat that! My plan allows you to eat American commercial food at third world prices.

Let’s be conservative and say you spend $7 a day on lunch. With four days of tuna helper eating, you will save $90 a month, or $1,080 a year. I’ve been doing this for three years now (no, I don’t have mercury poisoning), which has pushed my total savings to over $3,000. I have yet to meet someone who could make the tuna plan a part of their life, but with so many people in debt, all I gotta say is… let tuna pay it off.

Next up: “Reuse condoms and SAVE”

 
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16 Comments »
5 years, 7 months ago

Uhhh. Not a very healthful lunch, my dear.

5 years, 7 months ago

wait, you’ve been eating tuna fish every day for years?

DC Pimp
5 years, 7 months ago

I would be bored out of my mind to eat the same thing for lunch every day. Much less what you recommended. Perhaps this resonate better with a college crowd. Ramen noodles, baby!!

Here’s a better money saver: if you buy lunch, don’t eat out/get take out more than once a week for dinner.

5 years, 7 months ago

I would say that sprinkling bacon bits and crotouns on meals helps make them become gourmetish a-la Applebee’s and TGI Fridays.

5 years, 7 months ago

Hmmmmm, that is a tasty burger. The cornerstone of a nutritious breakfast.

DCB
5 years, 7 months ago

me: $3,000 in the bank
you: poor, bloated on Chipotle

Aja
5 years, 7 months ago

“milky-cereal baby”

Vicky_Valencourt
5 years, 7 months ago

It’s a great theory, but I’d mix it up with other cheap, home-made lunches to avoid killing oneself of boredom/sadness that one is eating the same thing every day. Especially tuna.

Does MM ascribe to the tuna plan, or is lunch @ Milano more like it?

Namaste
5 years, 7 months ago

I like your style, DCB. You’re a veritable Betty Crocker.

5 years, 7 months ago

I’ve got a microfridge at my desk. I keep a pack of lunch meat and cheese in it, along with a slew of cans of coke. I have a case of popcorn and a loaf of bread in my desk drawer. Same type thing, and it does make a huge difference monetarily.

Anonymous
5 years, 7 months ago

My boss is pretty fat, and she always picks up the tab just so that I’ll agree to go out to eat with her. Just returned actually, had dessert and everything…

Also, people need to realize that an apple and banana are perfectly sufficient for lunch. Or better yet, Slim Fast.

RCR
5 years, 7 months ago

Not to sound snobbish, but I don’t think I want to eat anything involving any kind of helper.

Besides, lunch is the high point of my work day - I’m not going to skimp on it.

nabeel
5 years, 7 months ago

tuna helper is too salty for me

5 years, 7 months ago

“My plan allows you to eat American commercial food at third world prices.”

Haha that should be a tagline.

Think of how many calories and sodium are in that…if you’re gonna eat tuna just eat it plain with crackers!

Liz
5 years, 7 months ago

I think I’ll just stick to my homemade salads, kthx.

Echo
5 years, 5 months ago

I recommend one additional ingredient to make the meal more healthy and varied- frozen vegetables. Peas, carrots, broccoli, peppers, any of these will make a world of difference. And perhaps relieve that fresh-from-the-box flavor.