About six weeks ago I was overcome with a strong desire to own a blog-up doll. I went on ebay and bought Judy for $20. It has turned out to be the best 20 bucks I have ever spent.

Pranks:

Round 1: It’s Friday night and a friend is coming over to pre-drink. He walks in the house and finds my bedroom door is closed. He opens the door to witness me and Judy having dirty animal sex.

Round 2: I call my dad and tell him I would like to bring over a “lady-friend” to our Sunday dinner. I come in the house first and my stepmother rushes to clean up the mess on the floor… until she looks up and sees an inflatable doll. My 2-year-old brother cries. My dad calls me “weird.” My 19 year-old sister later catches Judy giving me head in the hallway.

Round 3: I call my mom and tell her I’m bringing over my new girlfriend. I arrive to find that she’s changed into nice clothes, put on make-up, and did her hair - all for Judy. “What kind of son did I raise??”

Round 4: Making you guys think I was turning beta. I love how the female commenters were so supportive of my new relationship. Still, I’m very offended that you people think I would change for a hot piece of ass.

The Dupont Circle Photoshoot:

The Dupont Circle pictures were taken by my lovely intern Sally. She gets BIG thanks from me for helping out because I know it wasn’t easy for her. I had to practically beg to get her to take that fountain picture. “God I hope I don’t run into anyone I know.” Plus Judy was being a little whore by pawing at Sally’s ass throughout the photoshoot.

On the way over to DC I was getting a lot of stares. I probably shouldn’t have put Judy in the front seat:

Walking through the city with a blow-up doll was very embarrassing - more embarrassing then when I used to wear a glow necklace in clubs. Everyone stared at Judy and gave me weird looks. Most laughed. People were taking pictures with their camera phones and asking weird questions like where Judy’s hole was. I would answer inquiries with “It’s an art project.” The hardest part of the photoshoot was walking through the Dupont Circle fountain. People hang in the fountain just to people watch, so when I strolled through everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at me and my doll.

From this experiment I learned that black guys really do love white women. While white guys would snicker and laugh, black guys who would make sexual comments directed at the doll and cat-call from moving cars. The funny part is Judy doesn’t even have an ass.

Our last photo was a picture of me and Judy “window shopping.” Right after Sally took the picture, the store manager literally ran out and tried to stop us. He was a bit late. Sally was frazzled.

On Location:

Thanks also goes out to Eugenius for supporting me through the Judy pranks. Pre-drinking has a new meaning for us both now that we can simulate sex on Judy to get amped up before going out. Hopefully no one is getting attached:

Where Is She Now?

Judy has her own room and bed in my house. She is exhausted from all the exposure, especially since she is a very shy girl.

Prank Victims:

The following is a list of the most gullible people on the internet: Anonymous, Crazy Girl City, Sudamericana, Anonymous, Phil, Ayla, fanman, Sweet (formerly known as The Virgin), Cock Diesel, Johnny5, RCR, AUA, tommy, Mad Asian, Matt, Anonymous, V, Stephen, Joe, Whatever, Aja, and Anonymous. Only one person called BS…

:bow: Nabs

In conclusion, :laugh:

Related Posts You May Like: MY GIRLFRIEND JUDY JUDY BITCH SLAPS REINDEER ONE MORE WEEK DON’T TAKE A BLOW-UP DOLL TO THE BEACH FANTASY WORLD AUSTIN

My Pick-Up Guide: Bang is the book I wrote after swimming in game for six years after college. Inside I teach everything about meeting girls, dating them, and finally sealing the deal. Check out the homepage for reviews, excerpts, and a detailed outline.

You really ought to make Judy wear her seatbelt.

This doesn’t mean that black guys really love white women. You were with a doll. All it means is that black guys have a different way of expressing humor.

I am always around the circle, and the thought of running into you with Judy is just too funny!!

Yeah, I’m pretty gullible, but I am so glad you are still a bachelor…I was really jealous of the chick with the dark haired, olive skinned and amazing body :love:

HA! That’s your piece of crap car and that’s the bed you sleep in? Holy hell man, you must really get some trolls to your bed…cause no girl with an ounce of class would be seen in that car OR that dorm room bed.

It’s gonna happen someday, DCB. I may be gullible in your book…but I think it’s more like intuition. For the moment…consider me a bit more jaded, your goal always.

Sally– LOVE your purse. Mind spilling where it’s from?

YEs, I was fooled I must now throw myself out the window.

Seriously dude, nice dorm room. -Corolla

“Round 1: It?s Friday night and a friend is coming over to pre-drink. He walks in the house and finds my bedroom door is closed. He opens the door to witness me and Judy having dirty animal sex.”

Animal sex?

Was she mounting you from behind with a 9 inch strap-on? Like one of those species of lizard that can change sex mid-copulation?

Was she doing you in a sexy parthenogenesistic way?

Were you copulating with your self like an earth worm that possesses both male and female genitalia, while she took notes?

Were the two of you engaging in a bit of reverse phagocytotic ‘budding’?

Were you doing the ‘cast-off’ method much favoured by our aquatic friends?

Brevity and specificity is needed

you shoulda sprung for one of these:

http://www.realdoll.com/intro.asp

Target. I’m not kidding. I wanted a Michael Kors but had to settle for a cheap imitation, but I’ve gotten more compliments on it than anything.

http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/ref=br_1_16/601-3115952-3152168?%5Fencoding=UTF8&frombrowse=1&asin=B000BWI57W

I salute you, Judy and Sally. Nice work ol chap–I should have known you’d never actually admit when you flipped.

Congrats dcb on getting us all.

Marvelous set-up with the Jessa post, and then to back it up with a follow-up.

The world is right again…

bad Jesus. :devil:

I was ready to send you a care package consisting of: testosterone injections, twin strippers, and a slap in the face.

bbbbbaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!! I said you would be back!!! Good one though!!!

the anonymous hate seems to be from the same idiot…….such a retard, has nothing better to do…….GET A HOBBY!!!!!!!!!!

Right, Eugenius, coming from someone on THIS site? Sending hate, nothing better to do, get a hobby… sounds familiar! Right, cocksucker - take your own advice when you and your circle jerk buddies gather for the next round of illuminati “critiques.”

Is that a futon you sleep on?

Eugenius, How do you know it’s the same hobbyless idiot? And I think that “retard” is socially unacceptable these days.

Agreed with Ayla. You got me on this one, but someday it will happen. For all we know, it already has…

Yeah, I smelled bs. DCB go beta? Never!

But it was funny anyway :laugh:

The Kathryn above isn’t me. I like Eugenius.

Anyhoo, my vote on the anon trolls goes for a tight little circle of girlfriends…as I wasn’t invited to join, I am totally sitting here sobbing. Their hate is just so good!

:boring:

Neither of those was me! What the fuck!?

The DBC Mission Statement:

y’all be frontin
Me give my heart to a woman?
Not for nothin, never happen
I’ll be forever mackin

~Jay-Z

Nabs

I still hate all of you.

Sounds like an X eugenious

You fucker! And yeah I’m pretty gullible.

I am ashamed.

Hmmmm … you describe your girlfriend as “Dark hair, olive skin,” but Judy is blond and white. Was this an error in your prank strategy? Or is the “prank” just a cover for a real-life DCB romantic interest? Or does the incongruity point to a subconscious desire for a real girlfriend with dark hair and olive skin? Or could you just not find a doll that met that description? In any case, the prank itself is probably revealing, in a Freudian kind of way - cf. “Jokes and their Relation to the Unconscious.”