A primer for the ladies.

I can tell you why you are not meeting men and why you will eventually spend approximately 5% of your entire life span bitching about how you can’t seem to meet men and asking where to meet them.

Somewhere along the line, women got retarded. It’s like a college education and more opportunities in the workplace made us all stupider in the natural laws of attraction. What I’m going to tell you is solid gold, and if you disagree, then you’re an idiot, and will probably die alone.

1. First of all, why are you turning down social invitations? I hear this all the time from women. “I’m too tired” or “I have to go let my dog out” or “I really have to wash clothes” … really? All of these things are more important than potentially meeting an attractive, eligible man? If you get invited to do something, even if it sounds lame, GO. You’re not going to meet men sitting on your couch in your PJs watching a “Project Runway” marathon. If you live out of town, find friends who live in the District who will let you crash on their couch if you go out at night… and learn the art of walk-of-shame shopping. As a codicil, if you are double- or triple-booked, try to go to everything, if even for only 10 minutes.

2. Always be prepared. You never know when you’ll go to the coffee shop and meet your future husband waiting on your tall mocha. That’s why you can’t afford to be cavalier about your appearance or the number of business cards in your wallet (or having a pen and paper handy).

3. When did “being comfortable” become more important than “being pretty”? Guess what: it’s a cold hard truth, but men think your flat, orthopedic-looking shoes are UGLY. You don’t have to dress like a model every day, and you don’t have to have a lot of money to look good. But you can think about what a man might like to see on a woman. It’s not a plain top, flip-flops, and jeans that make your butt look chubby. Learn how to walk in high heels, and make some friends who won’t lie to you about your clothing. Additionally, buy a push-up bra or two. You know that saying, “men are visual creatures”? It’s a saying because it’s true. A little flash, a little pizzazz are your best weapons. Just don’t lay the make-up on with a trowel.

4. Stop being a bitch. You know why no guys are hitting on you at the restaurant/bar? Because you’re sitting there with a frown on your face, trying to look cool. If you are lucky enough to be approached by a man who would probably love nothing more than to buy you a drink, be polite. And, make lots of eye contact.

4a. Quit trying to act like you are the hottest shit on the planet, because you’re not. It’s all well and good to tell yourself that a couple of times a day as a pick-me-up (I’m certainly guilty), but don’t take that attitude outside of your head. Some women affect boredom because they think it makes them seem sophisticated, but it just makes them look borING. Why not look like you are having fun?

5. Think about where the kind of men you would like to meet would be present. Every dating advice columnist out there tells you to go to cooking classes and that kind of bullheimer, but there’s no guarantees there. Suggestions:

-alumni groups for your college (you’ll have at least one thing in common)
-briefings, panel discussions, etc. on the Hill (men who are reasonably intelligent, have decent jobs, and will totally hit on you if you look hot)
-book readings and concerts (if you go by yourself, it’s less intimidating to men than approaching a tight cluster of girls)

6. Develop yourself. Read a book or two, go to a museum, go to a movie, take a trip. You know how you reject men because they don’t have anything interesting to say? I know it’s hard to believe, but men will reject you for the same reason.

7. It might be in female nature to take everything personally and to look for hidden meanings in what people say, but try avoid this. Example: if a man you’ve met exactly once before says, “you look different” upon meeting you the second time, don’t immediately assume that because you weren’t wearing makeup the first time, you looked ugly and that because you are wearing makeup now, that you look pretty, and that this man actually thinks you are ugly, and now you hate him, and he’s not that good-looking anyway, and who does he think he is, and why does he think he’s so superior, and he’s probably lying about all that tail he’s pulling anyway. Do you know why men say that women are psycho bitches? Because women think like that. And then they say it out loud. And believe it.

I’m not claiming to be an expert. But, I do meet a lot of men - the kind of men that most women would like to date. And, I feel like that makes me at least somewhat qualified to assess what you’re doing wrong. So buck up. Because you think you’re ready to meet the man of your dreams… but how hard are you trying?

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My Pick-Up Guide: Bang is the book I wrote after swimming in game for six years after college. Inside I teach everything about meeting girls, dating them, and finally sealing the deal. Check out the homepage for reviews, excerpts, and a detailed outline.

Wow-I could not agree more. Girls-GET A LIFE besides trying to find a man anyway-what is wrong with you guys?!…the more hobbies and interests you have-the more interesting your life with be and the more interesting you will be TO OTHER PEOPLE.

Read books, watch the news, go outside, get girlfriends to have fun with.

Look pretty, smile a lot and dont zone off even if the guy you are talking to is the most boring man on the planet. Chances are you bore some men too.

Tell it sister Sally. You are preaching to the damn choir.

In short, don’t expect to meet a smart, funny, caring, groomed, fit, wealthy, commitment-ready man if you don’t possess each and every one of those qualities yourself. That’s the bottom line. And no…nobody’s perfect, and nobody’s “on” every day. But don’t expect more from a man than you yourself have to offer.

That said…I do love me some “Project Runway”/pajama time. And I’m a better person for it.

I find it difficult to believe that the scenario presented in #7 could possibly occur, Sally.

hall of fame

Word

Couldn’t agree more. Best post I’ve seen in a long time!

I’ve said it before. DCB, it is possible your “spinster” friends REALLY DON’T WANT TO BE MARRIED but are afraid to admit it, because to admit an affection or yearing for eternal singlehood sounds too subversive. It’s more fashionable to complain about there being no good men, even while DC is swarming with them.

Ladies, I say, RELEASE!!!!!! your inner spinster if it brings you pleasure. I’ve been married before, and let me tell you, it ain’t all that. Don’t let any man measure your worth based upon your usefulness to him. Because it’s bullshit.

That said, after doing some inner accounting you decide you DO want to be married, DCB’s manhunting advice is most excellent. And even if you DON’T want a man, now or ever, it’s still good advice, because at the end of the day you will have HAD A LIFE to recount to your friends while confined to your wheelchair, petting your cat.

You didn’t forget that part, did you? Where we’re all headed: decrepitude, illness and eventual death. Forget about marriage, whatcha gonna DO on the way to death? Watch TV? GAH!

Whoops, that’s you, Sally! Silly me, not paying attention.

100% spot on. People make dating WAY harder than it needs to be.

DCB owned over at RCR’s site…

Great post, Sally. And, you know how I feel about #3–the importance of heels and a good bra cannot be overstated.

And, I’d add a 4b which is have some (genuine) confidence. Believe that you are in fact fun, attractive and a good lay–don’t be the “PLEASE think I’m pretty” girl, desperate is really unattractive.

Charlotte : It’s a bitter pill, sister, but I’ve had many friends react that way.

Loved this!

Hah-hah.

Charlotte,

You look like a Cavalier King Charles spaniel.

>>Somewhere along the line, women got retarded. It?s like a college education and more opportunities in the workplace made us all stupider in the natural laws of attraction.

>>Somewhere along the line, women got retarded. It?s like a college education and more opportunities in the workplace made us all stupider in the natural laws of attraction.

oops. looks like im dumb.

it’s called feminism. :pissed:

No, it’s not feminism. Feminism is only the “radical” notion that women are human beings equal to men. Is that really such a stretch? Please!

Most accusations lobbed at feminists, and feminism in general, just aren’t true. Fact is, the “Equality Game” only works WHEN BOTH SIDES ARE PLAYING FAIR. News flash to the oblivious: They aren’t playing fair! The mating game is still prehistoric, messy and brutal.

Baby-boomer women who came of age in the 70’s made the mistake of believing just because they OUGHT TO have it all, that they actually COULD. Silly rabbits! The rest of us youn-uns see this for the goddamn lie that it is.

However, OUR mistake happens when we blame some warped, inaccurate, media-driven definition of “feminism.” If you really do your research instead of taking the media pundits at face value, you’ll find the problem isn’t the feminists at all, but a culture that remains stubbornly, obstinately sexist.

We have no choice but to continue breathing this bad air, and decide to what extent we wish to comply, fight, or abdicate. There is no right or wrong answer, only choices and consequences! And one of the consequences might be remaining single.

And I submit to you that this might not be such a bad thing.

Irina: Whoa, there. I think Sally’s point wasn’t that we shouldn’t have those opportunities, it’s that women assume w/ smarts and a good job that’s all that is needed. And, in most cases, they are wrong if their objective is to attract someone to date.

Hedonistic-I dont agree on all points but most definately on a few. I have some amazing, gorgeous, talented, educated friends that could have any man they want but are in dysfunctional, nasty relationships bc we are still taught that marriage is the key to every couple’s happiness. Who the hell wants that?

I would rather be single till the day I die than be in a shitty ass relationship. That is way more lonely.

Just to be clear, my angry face was directed towards feminism, not DCB. Though feminism did do a lot for women, we can’t escape nature. Feminism or not, what women today try to do is imply that certain primordial laws of nature (i.e.: the fact that men are very visual) do not exist. This is retarded.
And even though women are equal to men, we’re not the SAME as men. Why won’t girls quit trying to act like men?

Irina: What women are you talking to that don’t think men are visual? And, who the hell still says we’re “the same?” No one is the same, especially not an entire gender. Sounds like you aren’t talking to “feminists,” but just uneducated women or off-the-chart radicals.

Irina is swiping at strawfeminists. You know, the ones we’ve never actually met. I think they live on the planet Vaginastan or something.

Sally, can I be your literary agent, because this is book material. Props!

I think you’re being a little mean there hedonistic.

I doubt anyone would argue rationally against the notion of equality. However, I encounter “Feminazis” every so often, and it makes me sick.

For example, yesterday on the way home, I of course, was holding the door (as I was taught to, being Southern and all). The girl (no older than I, or no younger) looked at me and said “I don’t need you to hold a door open for me”

I promptly closed the door.

That happens, about twice a year. There is an attitude that is prevenlant in women who take feminism TOO FAR.

So just for the record, I have met these “Straw-feminists.”

Wow, if I could be offended only twice a year by some random male’s sexist comments I’d consider myself pretty privileged. Congratulations!

DC is an odd place where the habits of the Yankee North and Old South meet. Someone famous, I don’t know whom, once said DC had “all the charm of the North and all the efficiency of the South.” How true it is!

Just continue to be your decent self and hold doors open for men AND women. It’s the considerate thing to do.

Hedon - that would be JFK who described DC as “a city of Northern charm and Southern efficiency.”

Whoaaa! Lots of pent up frustration! And I thought women were winning the battle of the sexes!

Seriously though, I have to agree with stephen - I’ve encountered poeple who take feminism too far, and it was just too much that it lacked grace.

Kassyk - TOTALLY am with you on preferring to be single and living it up than be in a crappy relationship. Its why I’m single now

Just out of curiosity, who ARE all these single women who can’t meet men? 99% of the reasonably attractive and together girls that I meet have boyfriends. Like I met my girlfriend JUST after she ended a relationship with another man, and she already had another option besides me (but she chose wisely). I feel like the attractive women of the world rarely spend time single unless they make a super strong effort to turn down all the male options they have for a while.

Now, if you are not attractive or you act psycho or both, then yes, you will have trouble, just as any man in that condition would. Perhaps Sally’s post is for these women?

I totally agree with Sally, I’m not trying to argue. I just think there’s a reason for why certain women feel like that. Not ALL women, but many I know do. I’m not like that at all. I’m with Stephen, many of these women DO take it too far, and then get really hostile about the sexism in america.

Hedonist- let’s refer back to the post, why do YOU think women are having such trouble finding men?
Or are you implying that we shouldn’t even try? Cause I’m sorry, maybe you’ve had bad experiences, but my parents’ marriage and relationships i see around me are great. I was raised in a traditional russian family, and no one seems to be as miserable as all the americans i hear whining about their relationships. explain that one. No relationship is perfect, and unless you’re a masochist, it is still better than me sitting here single and making up excuses why i should be a bachelorette for life, when all my insticts tell me to do otherwise. I’ve been in bad relationships, but I escaped quickly.
In other words, I’ll gladly comply.

Correction: it?s a cold hard truth, that men couldn’t give a rat’s ass what shoes you’re wearing. As long as you’re not barefoot (unless there’s swimming going on nearby), we don’t give a shit. Probably won’t even notice.

I do agree with Irina in that not all relationships are perfect…nothing in life is perfect….but I do see a lot of women in blah relationships just bc they are terrified of being single.

I dont want to live out my life as a single woman but I think thats WAY more desirable than being with a shitty guy in a shitty relationship. Thats just painful.

BUT I also agree with Chaco too…who is having trouble MEETING guys? Guys are everywhere…esp now that it is getting warm out…they all come out of hibernation.

Irina-go to the waterfront, you are a cute girl, you will get hit on CONSTANTLY. Enjoy

MONSTER of a post………needs to be made into a poster and taped on every female’s cubicle, office door, bedroom door, closet door and any other flat visible surface, oh and especially on the main door……….fuck it……wallpaper it on all the walls…….

Irina, men aren’t hard to find. They’re like mosquitos in July: everywhere the flesh is, looking for a little nibble. So, if you’re interested in being “nibbled,” go there and let nature take its course!

hedonistic … that’s interesting, because I’m always trying to bat away the mosquitos in the summer

Hedonistic,

You have a severely warped impression of men.

If you want some advice on how to meet guys. Just look at them and smile. It really is that simple. That high-heel, push up bra crap doesn’t really do anything. You have already been asigned a number in the gene pool pecking order and whether you are wearing heels our flip floops it won’t matter.

If you see a guy you like, allow yourself to get caught checking him out, and that is plenty. If he thinks you are hot and he has a set of balls, he will figure out a way to talk to you.

Most girls chicken out and don’t put forth enough effort to make their interest known. They try this coy and cool crap. If you want to get laid you gotta swing to hit.

Only problem is, if you aren’t hot, it will depress you when you put yourself out there and the guy doesn’t respond. Ah the trails of the gene pool.

Are you in law school? Who uses the word “codicil” in normal conversation. But props on a good post. And the anonymous comment above this one is spot on - frumpy is bad, but no amount of heels, makeup, and pushup bras is going to make us want you if you don’t have the genes to back it up.

epic post Sally.

Metro Section: The Single Life

Some advice for the ladies: “Stop being a bitch.” [DC Bachelor] Some advice for the clueless: “Isn’t it obvious that he wants to bang you? For a law student you are pretty slow.” [First Date DC] Some advice for…

just get a cat like the rest of the ‘cool’ womyns in America. you’ll die alone, but at least you’ll look cool doin it. at least, you’ll think you look cool doin it.

The problem is that 90 percent of women all want the 10 percent of men who are alpha males. Now that the new liberal chic is polygamy, this problem will easily be solved when they eventually legalize that (and it’s been going on under different names anyway).

Ladies,

If the situation is miserable, don’t be afraid to resort to a little plastic surgery. However, be mindful and fix everything that needs fixing; Don’t just get a boob job if the face is still broke.

AND learn how to cook. My advice to you is to READ (like sally instructed) but you should read cook books and that way you can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Ladies and gentlement of the jury: I present to you the good Dr.’s comment above as Exhibit A: Why I Never Remarried.

I rest my case!

(Unless, he was joking?)

Hedonistic is always good for a laugh; the most insecure poster here…

sally, you’re the bees knees!!!

Ah how interesting that a hedonist would ultimately end up unhappy. Socrates is proved right yet again.

hedonistic,

Call me. We’ll getchya remarried in no time.

Hedonistic, I like the way you think. And that’s the only reason I’m commenting. Most everything else written here is just weird.

“Don’t be such a bitch…don’t be afraid of plastic surgery…learn to walk in high heels…do all of this shit, but don’t come crying to us if it doesn’t work ’cause, oops! we’ve decided that you’re just butt-ugly and there’s nothing you can do about butt-ugly, but do it all anyway, because at least that way we’ll know that you cared enough to try, you loser, and here’s your consolation cat!”

It makes me want to wash all the makeup off my face and *go out on the town*, just to piss y’all off.

This post and associated comments are a load of misogynistic crap. Have fun in hell, self-hating bitches!

The definition of misogynistic must have changed…

Cause I don’t see how Sally’s wonderful written monologue is in any way “misogynistic”

I hereby declare cathy in violation of tip #4.

She also forgot to capitalize “Hell”. She hasn’t even gotten there yet, and she’s already dissing the Lord of Darkness!

God, you women read women’s magazines too much. If you just are friendly and showered, you will have no problem meeting men. Of course, if you have an agenda, and are trying to find “prince charming to save your life and allow you to get ahead”, then you deserve to die alone. Women are the biggest objectifiers, they think that men are plastic wrapped husband objects. Stop reading those magazines and start sleeping around, you’ll find your dream man.

Wow, I’m insecure and “ultimately ended up unhappy?” Like, when the divorce papers were signed, the curtain went down on my life? Really? :amused: Actually, I was only unhappy while I was married, and that was a few years ago. Life has been one adventure after another ever since. In the mean time, my ex-husband and I are friends and neighbors.

Ladies, all the fun is to be had while you’re dating. After the wedding, game over! So get out there and have some fun and stop worrying about getting married or some jerk calling you a spinster! You don’t have to worry about whether or not men find you attractive so long as you are decent-looking, fit and give off even the slightest whiff of fertility (youth). If you are in a group of men you can be sure one of them is imagining bending you right over. They can’t help it, it’s just instinct. Just roll with it, and let nature take its course.

And if you are ever tempted to tie the knot, just remember: The majority of divorces are initiated by WOMEN! The megabillion dollar wedding industry wants you to think life is all about “catching yer man” and having the big party with the white dress. It’s all a load of crap, don’t fall for it!

Partay on,

:banana:

Hedonistic, if you initiated your divorce, do you ever think back and maybe consider that you were a poor judge of character when you met your ex?

It’s really amazing how many women who’ve showed up here to answer Sally’s post are spring-loaded with anti-male attitudes.

Of course, the idiots like Dr. and johnnyboy don’t help the situation. I swear, whenever I hear a guy spout stupid rhetoric like that, the first word I think of is “POSEUR”. Just a bunch of cowardly “males” trying to prove how hard they are.

Let me paraphrase my man Rot-ney: “Why can’t we all just get along?!”

Joe, I’m an EX-cellent judge of character. My ex is wonderful and will make some other woman a wonderful husband, so long as she doesn’t mind being “the Wife.” As things stand, we are friends, co-parents and neighbors (literally a few houses up the road). I refuse to be a “wife.”

Hedonistic you are being called “insecure and ultimately ended up unhappy” because you base the union of men and women on your failed marriage. I think the spinster behaviour and all that is a classic defense mechanism given the hurt it obviously would have caused you, there’s no big mystery there.
But if you make it your way of life, how will you ever find the decent man you know you really want deep down, the one who doesn’t treat you like “the wife”?

Interesting presumption there:

1. divorced = unhappy
2. find the right man = happy

Both could be either true or untrue depending on the person and the circumstance. Bottom line is that our happiness does not ultimately lie in whether or not we couple-up in accordance with expectations.

I stand by my suggestion above: It is likely that women who end up “spinsters” DEEP DOWN never really wanted to be married anyway. If they did, they would have made different life choices.

Bottom line: We WITHOUT FAIL put our energy into the things we deem most important.

Hey Joe, screw you. Your the “Poseur”.

Hey johnnyboy, I would take you even a little bit seriously if you could spell.

Hey Joe, you are just not worth the extra characters, as you don’t have much of one to start with. And check your own spelling while you’re at it.

Hey Joe, you are just not worth the extra characters, as you don’t have much of one to start with. And check your own spelling while you’re at it.

Hedonistic, you’re advocating spinsterdom if a woman feels that way inclined and it makes her “happy”. You’ve even gone so far as to choose an online name describing self-gratification.

What I’m saying, quite openly here, is that all you’re advocating is merely a state of denial, reinforced by those who need others to join them in their misery.
If you ask me, true happiness comes from our relationships with others, especially a meaningful intimacy with someone of the opposite sex. It has very little to do with expectation and much more to do with basic human need and desire.

I’m not saying that you should have stayed with your husband and endured a bad marriage, but writing off the possibility of marrying someone again because of one bad experience is really sad.

No doubt my strong feelings about this come from having a mother who has done exactly that and seeing the effect her “happiness” has had on her and those around her.
You mentioned that you’re a parent, so I think you would be wise to at least take what I’ve said in to consideration. What are you going to say to your offspring when they have difficulty with their boyfriends/girlfriends, that they should give up on them and focus only on pleasing themselves? What you say won’t really even matter, because as you are no doubt aware, kids do as their parents do, not as they say.

In closing, “won’t someone think of the children?”

We were born to be in relationship, that’s a given. But there are many diffent kinds of relationships besides the permanent pair-bond, and of those I, and most people I hope, have many!

(This is not that I’m immune from the siren call of the permanent pair-bond. It could happen.)

Perhaps we need to tweak everyone’s definition of “spinster.” She is not necessarily a recluse. If the spinsters you know are reclusive, then I suggest their REAL problem is social, not romantic! In which case, suggesting they “get out more” is like saying agoraphobics “just need a vacation.”

Oh, and for the record, my “hedonistic” handle comes from an inside joke. It’s entertaining to to read the things people project on it.

The Rules, Part II? Scary…

This should be changed from “primer for the ladies” to “primer for the ladies on how to meet shallow, materialistic men.” Who likes push-up bras, make-up, and women who are always artificially happy and peppy? Why, former frat boys and asshole types - wealthy businessmen, investment bankers, and other shallow, money-obsessed drones. Popped collar types. Lots of women go for those but you shouldn’t forget about those of us who actually have brains and want to meet INTERESTING men. Most interesting men I know HATE push-up bras, in fact think no bra is sexy, and don’t give a flying fuck about high heels.

All the people who are taking this so seriously are exactly what Sally’s posting against. I’m a feminist, and I didn’t get any “Whooooooooo, patriarchy!” vibes from this. Shorter post: Ladies, be your charming, fun, relaxed selves, and you’ll find someone who appreciates it. Looking good is always a plus, but I think that has more to do with the confidence (not arrogance!) that looking good gives you.

Hedonistic is sad and her kids will be too until the therapy starts but then there are the therapy bills oh so sad…

http://www.pitt.edu/utimes/issues/27/12894/15.html

funny, I just encountered this by accident.

Googling “why am I so sad” is not an accident…

me, I am a guy and I *do* give a flying fuck about high heels as a matter of fact. In fact, in personal ads I write, “I am 5′8″ so I hope you’re at least 5′9″, because I like you to wear heels!”

Yeah, I just get a kick out of blowing those trite American stereotypes to smithereens, I guess.

Rock on…

This post just perpetuates the idea that men are a commodity that women have to fight over - and to “win” they must present themselves in some contrived way (i.e. full makeup, high heels, push up bra etc…) and without such effort no man will ever want them. It is as though Sally is advocating all women become cookie cutter Barbie princesses and fails to recognize that personality, confidence, and intellect more often will attract relationship worthy men - while exuding all the qualities she lists will typically just result in getting drinks bought for you and a one night stand. The man who wants said princess isn’t going to be the man of your dreams…the one who appreciates all the other qualities will be.

Anonymous, lots of men claim they don’t pay attention to those “contrivances”, and lots of women decry them, but the fact of the matter is, that the *average* male will be drawn like a fly to honey to the cumulative effect of those things. If it weren’t so, women wouldn’t have developed such habits through the centuries, from corsets to heels to lipstick or whatever. The times and fashions may change, but the fact that such a little glitter and feminine flash will draw most guys’ eyes, remains an ineluctable truth. Almost every culture on earth, from Latinas in Venezuela and Puerto Rico, to tribespeople in New Guinea, engage in some kind of adornment and decoration (for both sexes). You’re trying to escape the biological. I say, let’s celebrate the things that make us feel good and warm and tingly, celebrate the excitement rather than trying to deny or escape it… Sounds like a dreadfully anti-human philosophy to me, Anon.

uh…shut up Joe

Honestly. Break it down logically: if men can be aroused by blow-up dolls, how hard does a woman really have to work to get laid?

Ladies, look fertile: Shiny hair, good skin, favorable waist-to-hip ratio, good teeth. Everything else is just window dressing, and as Joe suggested, we might as well have fun with it.

As for the rest of the mating dance? As Woody Allen said, “Eighty percent of success is showing up.”

Actually, I said 90% of life is showing up. You moron.

FWIW, I am engaged to the greatest guy on the planet and I didn’t follow any of that advice. Well, except that I read, but I didn’t take up reading to snag a man!

I definitely disagree with the dress fancy advice. Most guys I know like to do stuff like hiking, biking, camping, sports, etc. They are not interested in women who look too pristine to do those things.

Also, I am a drummer and I have found this hobby to be a guy-magnet. Just sayin’.

What a curious collection of Prime Time TV views and off the wall suggestions.

I can tell you myself, as a male, approachability, charm, and accessibility are way better attributes than being candy on a stick. Enthusiasm and joy are the biggest turn ons. Helen Hunt gets Mel Gibson, not Paris Hilton. Doll yourself up like a vapid materialistic teenager and it shows what you value, looks and sex over everything else. And that’s exactly what you’ll attract. Hide behind dark sunglass and chew gum in a holier-than-thou look and the only come ons you’ll get are from guys with more balls than brains. Beyond a certain point, looks scare away more than they attract. If you’re looking for the model (physical) type man… be prepared for huge competition, they are many times rarer than the model type women.

Walk into a room and 90% of single men would be absolutely thrilled to have you sit next to them and have a friendly chat. Of course after they get rid of the suspicion it’s some trick or there’s a video camera somewhere. Nothing is more attractive than a woman that is sensible and genuinely interested.

Men are really easy to please and will campaign for you after the first contact. It is our privilage to win you after “the game is on.”

All this talk of “have hip/waist ratio x” or such are to be ignored. 300lb men will sit on the internet and openly critize features of supermodels. Don’t buy into that. You’d be surprised how much higher the concept of attractiveness is for women of themselves than men of women. Health and sensibility all you need. Treat who you’re dealing with respect and demand the same in return. Don’t be a sitcom girlfriend that obsesses and has arbitrarily critical limits. If a guy feels you’re searching him for something to dismiss him by, just another number in a long line, he won’t like it.

Decent looking women are by the far the most sought after commodity on the planet.

Shut up.

90% of this post could be applied to men as well.

All common sense really.

It isn’t true. It’s NOT! It’s NOT TRUE! It isn’t!
Isn’t, isn’t, isn’t, isn’t, isn’t! It ISN’T TRUE!!
You’re wrong! Wrong, wrong, wrong. WRONG!
Like totally NOT. I *KNOW* a *beautiful relationship* is out there just waiting for me! So DON’T SAY it isn’t! It’s *bullshit*! Lies!
LA-LA-LAAAA-DEE-DAAAA — I’m *NOT LISTENING*! La - Laaaa — I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

HEEELLLLLOOOOOOOO!!

Preparation meets Opportunity!!

Although cliche’, you never have a second chance to make a first impression!!

If you don’t put yourself out there you will never have even the first chance. Get off of your soap box and be seen in the scene!

Absolutely! This is the same advice that I give girlfriends who complain of the same thing…

american women are crude/arogant/egotistical and fake no wonder your guys dont want anything to with you and all that feminism didnt that die off in the 80s

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/13989048/site/newsweek/

“Why Girls Will Be Girls
In a controversial new book, this psychiatrist argues that differences between men and women start with their brains?..”

Imagine that, a biological difference from the get-go ….I?m shocked, shocked!

Oh, it is by a woman psychiatrist who is spot on with her research which… “describes the neurological reasons why women think about sex less than men but, in their drive to produce genetically superior babies, may be having more extramarital affairs than their frustrated husbands might imagine. She also explains how changing brain chemistry can prompt a postmenopausal woman to forgo marriage counseling and dial up a divorce lawyer instead.”

Eventually she will be black listed (in addition to the current fasion of sliming) by NOW for advocating heresy against the party doctrine.

(ie Party Doctrine: a ?Man Hating Cunt? toxic manifesto that is defacto std for American women.)

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While I agree with some of your points, I find some of them flat out distressing. I don’t want the kind of guy that would be attracted to those kind of… efforts. Yes, its a good idea to try to look reasonably attractive, and certain things may or may not catch someone’s eyes, but quite frankly the guy who would only talk to me if I wore high heels and designer jeans is not the kind I want to be with, period. I have found that women have infinitely more luck just being sociable and finding people they hit it off with, usually doing things that are common ground, such as meeting someone at a group or gathering of interest. And maybe someone’s shoes aren’t high fashion, but again, the guy that would turn you down because of it isn’t worth your time. Sure, if you are going out on the town, if you are seeking to be looked at, then you should go all out, but if the guy at the coffee shop turns you away after you approach him in a friendly, interested, manner because you aren’t wearing designer jeans, I wouldn’t let it bother you. Besides, confidence and finesse has won more hearts than expensive baubles ever has. I’ve seen it happen all the time, and I myself have had the experience, and am currently in a solid relationship that didn’t take not being who I really am to win myself into.

What’s up with having to be pretty? I don’t even OWN a tube of lipstick and I of course never will.